Apparently it has. You see, before I accepted redundancy, there were a wave of peers who kept on telling me this is where “it” all begins. I won’t regret it. It’s exactly what I need. Exactly what my kids need. Hell, I even got exactly what my dad needs. I’d be lying if I said I disagreed with them. I had been saying for quite some time that my job is squeezing the life out of me. The whole culture of trying to get ahead of ourselves in the office because we are doing 5 people jobs, which has now sneakily become part of our remit was causing me to miss my babies most energetic moments, reaching home from White City to catch them tucked in bed. Quiet. Exhausted. Rejuvenating themselves for the next school day. So for the love of my babies, and for breaking the homebound shackles from my wife’s ankles, I. Chose. Money. The one single advice I did not listen to strongly enough was
It’s hard out there (© My old boss, VP Brands, BBC Studios)
Let me take a few leaps back. I’m Soodesh, once worked for the BBC between 2000 – 2003, then again between 2004 – 2008, and BBC Worldwide / BBC Studios (ok the latter rebrand happened after I left) between 2008 – 2018. I am the President of the Sri Rajarajeshwari Amman Thirukkovil (a mouthful of a temple, yes, but we Tamilians like a tongue twister), married and father to four amazingly noisy angels. Let us not forget carer to Daddy Dementia (doh! My paps who has dementia, silly!) “How do you manage LIFE?” I hear you ask. I remember reading in a Daily Mail article (sorreeee) that once you have had over 3 children, you officially become a big family and life becomes about survival. Well, that’s how we get by. It’s a daily race to get over that virtual try line. The rugby pitch is very mobile and moves around with us.
I love writing (but never really experimented with it). Love researching exciting information and history about my amazing Tamil background and culture. In fact a redundant piece of writing exists somewhere on my drive, sorry Cloud account, trying to bring my dense but mushy knowledge about my family’s journey from Tamil Nadu to Mauritius. Hence the picture here of the ocean in Mauritius. By the way, I have a thing about the sounds of crashing waves of the sea and the vast ripples in the ocean. It takes my mind on this historical and ancestral journey. I picture the harrowing experiences of my people who had been misled and travelled on boats along these shores. Anyway, more on this in another piece. Or maybe another site. Watch this space.
The sounds of waves are so dramatic. And behaviour so erratic. If you manage to wade through the fierceness of the ocean’s waves, you are a survivor. Why did my mind hark back to that Destiny’s Child video?! If you’re old enough and familiar with it, you’ll catch my drift! But if you manage to pull yourself to the shores, you have fought a virtually impossible battle, paving new challenges to combat before creating new opportunities.
Well that is exactly what I set out to do when I took redundancy. A little time to spend with the children. A little time to reconnect with my dad. A little time for my wife to break free and run wild. A little time for me to explore ideas which occasionally played in my mind as if I had already achieved and was successful with them. Of course in the meantime I would be searching for work too. And with so much Aunty Beeb service under my expanded waistband, of course company to company, conglomerate to conglomerate, small business to small business, I’m gonna be sizzling, smoking hot, damn spoilt for choice in the world of work. As my journey began, I saw a completely different reality. A reality which made me realise the years I had put into one organisation may be more crippling than advantageous. Or maybe my brain had become slightly paralysed from my career being a little single track?
Damn is this meant to be an intro? Anyway, read on, feel free to comment, advise whichever you feel my little brain can handle. As I share with you my journey so far, role reversing with my wife whilst trying to stay sane looking for work, prepare for interviews, tailor my CV for the 22nd time in 9 months, juggle the school run, kids after school activities, my dad’s carer services you name it.